Michael Buerk & The Choice
This morning I listened to Michael Buerk on Radio 4 - The Choice. The Choice is a programme based on interviews with people who have made life-changing decisions. This morning Michael interviewed a husband and wife who decided to stay together as a family unit, married and living in the same home, after the husband had been convicted of paedophilia against their own young daughter.
It made fascinating listening and whilst I realise that their decision was not made lightly I am not sure it would have been a path I could have followed. To give the husband his due he was not 'found out.' Realising that there was a problem he turned himself in. His reasoning being that he needed help and this was the way to get it. His young daughter when 'interviewed' refused to say anything about her dad or what had been going on. His lawyer, only doing his duty, eventually informed him that if he retracted his statement the prosecution would have to drop the case and he would be a free man - free presumably to continue abusing his daughter.
As I said, give the man his due. He refused to withdraw his statement and he was tried and convicted and sent to prison. Of his 18 month sentence he only served 4 months and during this time received limited therapy/help for his 'condition.' Social services meantime did their best to persuade the wife to divorce her husband, threatening to take the child in to care if she did not. The woman resisted although she did not (initially) let her husband move back in to the marital home on his release from prison.
What followed for this family was a search for help that was not readily available. The husband asked for help but initially there was no funding for the husband to be treated, persumably some form of psychiatric therapy. And the wife and daughter, they struggled to find help, understanding, someone to talk to, any guidance to assist moving on from their traumatic experiences. More worryingly the wife and daughter appear to have been hounded from their home when their address was made freely available. They had no option but to move. The husband on the other hand, found his release address was protected persumably under the paedophilia data protection act!
The programme ended with the couple in what was a very frank interview telling us that eventually, after 4 years of therapy and help the husband was once more integrated in to the family since when they have been living together with no further problems. When prodded they agreed that their life experiences have altered how they live together. For instance the husband is not allowed upstairs. When asked the husband agreed he was not 'cured' but he was aware and knew how to control his feelings. He compared it to the saying 'once an alcoholic always an alcoholic' but managing to stay dry.
The daughter was not interviewed but is allegedly a well adjusted teenager, happy with a sparkling personality. I for one sincerely hope so. I also hope that in the future when she marries, has children of her own, that what was solely her mother's decision, does not come back to haunt her.
It made fascinating listening and whilst I realise that their decision was not made lightly I am not sure it would have been a path I could have followed. To give the husband his due he was not 'found out.' Realising that there was a problem he turned himself in. His reasoning being that he needed help and this was the way to get it. His young daughter when 'interviewed' refused to say anything about her dad or what had been going on. His lawyer, only doing his duty, eventually informed him that if he retracted his statement the prosecution would have to drop the case and he would be a free man - free presumably to continue abusing his daughter.
As I said, give the man his due. He refused to withdraw his statement and he was tried and convicted and sent to prison. Of his 18 month sentence he only served 4 months and during this time received limited therapy/help for his 'condition.' Social services meantime did their best to persuade the wife to divorce her husband, threatening to take the child in to care if she did not. The woman resisted although she did not (initially) let her husband move back in to the marital home on his release from prison.
What followed for this family was a search for help that was not readily available. The husband asked for help but initially there was no funding for the husband to be treated, persumably some form of psychiatric therapy. And the wife and daughter, they struggled to find help, understanding, someone to talk to, any guidance to assist moving on from their traumatic experiences. More worryingly the wife and daughter appear to have been hounded from their home when their address was made freely available. They had no option but to move. The husband on the other hand, found his release address was protected persumably under the paedophilia data protection act!
The programme ended with the couple in what was a very frank interview telling us that eventually, after 4 years of therapy and help the husband was once more integrated in to the family since when they have been living together with no further problems. When prodded they agreed that their life experiences have altered how they live together. For instance the husband is not allowed upstairs. When asked the husband agreed he was not 'cured' but he was aware and knew how to control his feelings. He compared it to the saying 'once an alcoholic always an alcoholic' but managing to stay dry.
The daughter was not interviewed but is allegedly a well adjusted teenager, happy with a sparkling personality. I for one sincerely hope so. I also hope that in the future when she marries, has children of her own, that what was solely her mother's decision, does not come back to haunt her.
posted by Anonymous at 9/11/2007 10:26:00 am
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